How we met Tina
Cuddled up really close and naked in a bed, trying to sleep, Joey opened his eyes and said “um, john” and his husband said “yes?” “So… I….got a girl pregnant we are having a baby!”he said faster than the speed of light “A what?!?” he said while removing himself from holding his husband and sitting up. “YOUR…..You're.. Not a bottom?” are you serious! Wait you're Straight? Who’s the slore?!” “Leah but it's not what you think! She doesn’t even know” “So, she doesn't know she screwed you?” “Baby look, I really know you wanted a kid to raise of our own and I asked lia and she said no, but like 4 or 44 shots later she really warmed up to the idea of heating the frozen baby juice and using the turkey baster” “The one I freaking used for thanksgiving 3 days ago!” “Oh..” “Omg was this a birthday surprise for me?You guys are the best!t” “Uh I don’t think she remembers and I mean she left for africa to build schools for a village, she is going to be home like tomorrow, I didn’t want to tell her alone, or while she was you know in africa doing all her humanitarian work, I mean she's single why would it bother her” “WTF Hello, it sort of freaks me out! Why would you ever think of that, I mean I know you guys were both hammered but ew and just i am so weirded out, you better leave me out of this.”John said while moving and turning away from Joey.
Joey laid awake until the next day, knowing Leah had been complaining about being sick and their was a great chance for the piss-stick to have two lines. His marriage and longest friendship he had was on the line, and he was ridiculously allergic to cats, so that option was out! Joey decided he needed to be the man gay-camp trained him to be, Joey wrapped his red-velvet silk robe, flipped his hair to the other side, popped a cork while looking at the phone. He trickled every last bit of his courage into a wine glass. Raising it to his mouth he took a drink, as his eye’s darted back to the phone he swallowed the drink like he did, something else on his honeymoon. He gathered the courage to pick up the phone, once John left to work and dialed Lia; “Hey, prima thoterina, need a ride from the airport?”
Leah said ”No, I am good. But…. I am coming over after I unpack all of my clothes and stuff; have a great surprise btw, you're going to be so shocked!”
“Oh, great.” Joey said as fake as he could trying to not sound guilty. John was upset at him and he couldn’t help but to think how wrong what he did was. He took advantage of a poor drunk girl. I mean she wasn’t all the way tricked she was the one that brung all of the 3 bottles of wine and bottle of rum, to get Joeys mind on not being able to give john his dream. When the agency said the surrogate backed out Joey started to loose hope. It was only the 4th time someone had backed out because they found out that Joey and John were a gay couple and Joey was joey as in a guy Joey not a girl Joey. She had felt bad for them and Joey took advantage of that.
In the great lighting from the window, Joey wiped the trickling drip of sweat off his brow as he cooked a feast consisting of chicken, mashed potatoes, turkey, ham, rice, corn, pasta, and a lot more. He figured he could soften the blow, with her favorite thing food. I mean most pregnant woman eat and throw up, right?
“Honeyyy” Joey said as John came in. Hugging him with the most uncomfortable.
A ring at the door comes soon after, its Leah.“You look great, that hair on the other hand...” said, John
“But we still love you regardless besides that tragedy you call hair” said joey
“Oh thanks, guys fuck you too” she said as the three shared an embrace. So what's this surprise that you have for us?”. “So get ready, this is Tina”, she said that she was opening the door to reveal the ashy brown curly, long-haired, caramel skin tone, blue eyed beauty on the other side of the door. Joey and family got nervous because he knew that he had to tell he couldn't let her go on with a relationship and not letting her know that she was growing up a Alien and her stomach. just imagine she was doing her while their child was inside of her disgusting but can he really be offended? Leah said “Tina is my girlfriend” she said as she should embrace with his girlfriend kissing her on the cheek. After getting to know each other, Joey saw how amazingly intelligent Tina was; if he weren’t gay he’d be in love with her too.
Sitting down beginning to devour the feast, Joey barely touched a thing knowing that he might break up 3 relationships, his and John's, lia’s and Tina's, and his relationship with Leah. Knowing every square inch of John and Joey’s apartment offered her girlfriend Tina a drink. She accepted and Joey took this as the perfect opportunity to come clean.
In the kitchen, Joey said “Leah do you remember that night before you went to do your humanitarian work?” “Of course how could I forget” she said laughingly. John shot back “So, you know you're pregnant?” Tina walked in and said “Pregnant? You’ve got to be kidding me!” “Why would I be pregnant?” Leah replied “No, I am not pregnant, I take birth control! Only to stop my period….” John said “But, you felt so sad and wanted to help me and John have a baby and you stuck yourself with the turkey baster, and I encouraged it”. “Wait, I think I know what’s going on, you don’t remember; you were the one super drunk, then you stuck the turkey baster up yourself” leah said. “I guess you thought you had lady bits that night and screamed “Wrong hole!” Tina, unexpectedly was dying with laughter in the corner. After clearing the story up, they had a few laughs and would have a hilarious story to tell to the newest addition of the crew, since Tina offered to be there surrogate a month later.
